Update 1:

I perhaps wish I could be more creative with the names of my updates, but I’m not, at least not yet.

I am in Bonn, Germany. I have been here since Thursday, January 24th. I am on training with Medicines Sans Frontieres (Doctors Without Borders as known in North America). I have decided to make a career shift. I am not sure if this is temporary move or what exactly it is. What I do know and it is confirmed more so at every stage of furthered information of MSF, is that it is right for me, right now.

I don’t know where I am going, I don’t know when, and I don’t know exactly what I will be doing.

What I do know is that I will be responsible for a large part of a projects logistics. I will be the support for the support. I make sure that the “Medicines” can do whatever it is that they need to do. I’ve seen presentations of great projects, of safe projects, of heartwarming projects. I’ve also seen presentations of not so great projects, of famine, of unsafe projects, and of the sadness that accompanies. And so, the bulk of this post must deal with unpleasantries.

Yesterday, three MSF staff were killed in Somalia. My heart goes to the families that have to endure such hardship. I don’t think that any them would read this posting, but if you do, please hear the words that I write to my family and my friends because I want them to know why we do what we set out to do.

I don’t want to die, I don’t want to be tortured, or kidnapped, or see the atrocities that might be seen, I don’t want to see the sadness. But, the people that live and die, are tortured, kidnapped, and live in these environments probably don’t want to see them either. I can’t imagine that anyone would want to hurt, to be hungry, to be maimed. I can’t stop hunger, I can’t stop pain, I can’t cure HIV, I can’t prevent war, I can’t prevent sadness. All I can offer is to alleviate suffering. That is all. Humbly, that is all that I can offer.

If I had lived in an environment prone to suffering, I would pray every night for someone to help me, my family, my friends, even my enemies, to help me so that I don’t have to suffer so much.

But I lived in Canada. I have had the most wonderful life that one could ever want. I’ve had all the things that many would want. Now it’s time to give back in the best way that I know how. If you know a better place to start at than the basics, please, let me know.

All of this to say, yet, I don’t want to die, or get hurt. With all the hopes and prayers in my life I don’t want that. But I can’t not help (I know the grammar, but it makes sense). I have to. I want to, more than anything in the world. I can’t let the horrible acts of irrational violence stop me. The events of this week gave all of us taking this course the opportunity to reflect and reconsider. Not one person is dropping out.

We are aware of the risks. We don’t like them, at all. We wish they weren’t there, but they are. There are so many people in this world suffering. It has to be stopped eventually. But before that, alleviation is the best that I can offer; maybe someday I can be part of stopping it.

My friends and family, I Love You. I don’t want you to suffer; I hope that I am never the cause of your suffering. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I realize the irony in going to alleviate suffering and yet consequently or potentially being the cause of suffering. It’s a Catch-22. I wish it wasn’t. But wishing doesn’t make it so.

I realize that this is a somber post, I do not intend on sending another one of this sobriety. I feel like it needed to be said. I hope that it helps you understand why I am embarking on this newest path. I am willing to answer questions, to clarify details, I am open to advice, I will listen, but if I might be stubborn and do it my own way regardless.

With Love to You,
Daniel